Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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