dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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