I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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