I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you would pick up someone in the library
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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