can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
