Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
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I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
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Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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