well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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