Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Houston, we have a blender
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
