hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I think I am morally bankrupt
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He felt like a one man threesome
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
