does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize