dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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