its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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