Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
He felt like a one man threesome
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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