pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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