then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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