he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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