Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
