dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
