SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize