I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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