I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
