You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
