Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
