Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
now i know why i became what i already was.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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