I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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