true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I have post one night stand depression
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize