I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
false alarm. still invincible.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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