if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
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