when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
