The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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