I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
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