His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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