Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
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if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
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I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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