No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
