Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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