I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
