White coat. Heels.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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