Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He felt like a one man threesome
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
