I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
