hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
