you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
