Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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