if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
