Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
