I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize