oh god the rape fog is back!
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
