Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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