im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.