I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...