WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
Hahaha April fools!
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...