need another drink. this is the easiest way
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.