I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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