I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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