let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
