...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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