You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
