Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She bit a glass in half.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
