Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
