You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
