she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
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I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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