Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
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