i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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