i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
