The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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