Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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