so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
