you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
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