So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
3 2 1 whiskey
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
