You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
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Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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