I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
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you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
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When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.