So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
