I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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