I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Randomize
